Swing and Bang Club 【 S & B 】 - Safe Sex Club .....[我們都是友善、不甘於生活平凡,敢於面對自己所需的人]

 Forgot password?
 Register
12Next
Return to list New
View: 455|Reply: 31
Collapse the left

[Sky Team] Rees' 8-months and sexuality rant (Eng)

  [Copy link]
Post time 10-7-2018 17:26:53 | Show all posts |Read mode

Reister NOW!! 馬上註冊,了解更多活動內容,享用更多功能,讓你輕鬆玩轉S&B。

You have to Login for download or view attachment(s). No Account? Register

x
Edited by Rees at 10-7-2018 17:29

Since I have joined S&B for like 8 months already and that I need to clear my mind, I thought I would go on a little rant here. Throughout my life I have been asked about my sexuality, appeals of the genders to me, and how the sex is with men compared to women. Every now and then I get asked the typical question, or should I say, assumption, that I was only into women because I had been lacking some ''real actions'' in my life, which I thought, was asked out of one's arrogance and ignorance. A few days ago a close friend of mine said something hurtful which, together with all these that's happened recently i.e. the usual annual pride, the recent LGBT related court cases, did make myself take a good look at and reevaluate my mind again.

First of all, I am 100% confident and proud of my sexuality. Even more so after having tried out what sex with men is like - doesn't change my love for any gender. I don't care for being labelling if if I had to pick, I would say I am pansexual + genderqueer. Being pansexual means that I can be attracted to people regardless of their genders, but hey, not just everyone, I got my standards alright? Does it open up a lot more options than what a heterosexual has? I guess, but like I said, I don't just whore around and just like every human being that I can get my hands on, they have to have some certain appeals to me, and I am pretty picky.

''Doesn't an actual dick feel much better than a dildo?''; ''Will you look for a man as a life partner now that you know what ''real sex'' is like?'' A lot of, unsurprisingly, men asked me this, I don't know whether they are genuinely curious, or if it's a part of their way of dirty talking, or if it is purely out of self-gratification who delusionally thinks they can turn anyone straight by shoving a d_ck in them, oh yes I have met a couple of those before. The horror!

One of my closest friends actually said this to me '' You have only joined a sex club because you are unsatisfied by your sex life with your girlfriend - who doesn't have a dick''. It saddens me to see people, even people who I thought were open-minded, would say such a biased thing. What drives me into joining S&B isn't being unsatisfied with not being stuffed by a ''real dick'', it is the desire to experiment and enjoy myself with DIFFERENT people via various means. I can be in a perfectly happy heterosexual relationship but still have such needs and urges to feel and taste and f_ck other people. For me, it is not about the genders at all. Period.

As someone whose outlook and dressing style does not exactly match their assigned sex, let me tell you, I have had plenty of experiences of facing discriminations, insults, and unfair treatments from the average ''normal'' peers. Over the years, from what I have seen, I don't think the LGBTQ acceptance has really gone anywhere. It is really frustrating to see that we are still living in the past.  Similarly with unpopular sex opinions, especially in a conservative place such as Hong Kong itself.

Looking back at the past events where I have exchanged thoughts with other members, it was obvious that for some, species like me are something new to them. And from being a minority amongst another group of minority called S&B, I have observed that the people here are much more accepting and truly more openminded than the general peers ''outside'', perhaps it is because they can relate to their own experiences and non-mainstream opinions regarding sex which led them to be here.

I remember the first event I went to, Mustard asked me an interesting question, it was something like will you dress differently/ sexily at the event venues in order to attract guys here, since you don't look exactly girly and visual stimulation/ physical appeals are obviously a key element to sexual arousal. I quickly dismissed the thoughts of deliberately dressing up just to please the guys because it is just so not me. But instead this place gave me a chance to explore my ''femininity'', at my own pace. Actually there is femininity in everyone and I don't think it is the appropriate word to use in this case. But in here I am comfortable with exploring that soft side of me and have a taste of what different roles feel like, which I did not know have it in me.

While writing this I realiseD how lucky I am to have found this place and somehow managed to join in. I wanna say I am really grateful for being here. If you have made it this far, thank you for bearing with me through my long and boring, slightly passive aggressive rant.



Post time 11-7-2018 11:12:14 | Show all posts
ok here it goes..

first of all rees, i'm glad we've met and had intimate actions with each other before i've read this. we've slightly touched on the topic the last time, and i must admit my first reaction seeing you was abit of a typical commoner's reaction. my apologies for saying some stupid phrases during the first few minutes of our face-to-face.
now, i'm no LGBTQ activist. But i do make lots of gay and trans friends around the world. as we've spoken, i am completely open to options and possibilities.
i support you. i'm equally 100% proud of who you are and your sexuality. i'm sorry about the comment your best friend made of you, thats very insensitive of him/her.
'real sex'? does real sex means having a human dick present? nope. tongue, fingers, lips are more than enough to be called 'real sex'. the society had made it such that definition of sex means having two genitals from opposite sex rubbing against each other followed by ejeculation. thats it. it does not describe enjoyment. satisfaction. process. feelings. nothing. i'd call raw foreplay with organic involvements minus any toys between two men or two women who are seriously in high demand of each other 'real sex' anyday, compared to two 性冷感夫婦 trying hard to make babies.

remember what i showed you last time we met? that doesn't mean i yearn being that. i'm straight. but i have options, and the courage to try something different. maybe i'll enjoy crossdressing. maybe i'd hate inserting into other's butts. maybe i may enjoy being analed. maybe i can work around pansexuals. its all about exploring how far we can go. but i'm straight. but that doesn't define me. similarly, you may dress and look differently. thats you defining who you are. you've made your answer clear to mustard. you won't be an eye-candy to other men in the outside world. but hey, you're here. you're in SnB. and we are all ready to try something new with you. i'm glad to have met you, and definitely want more of that to happen in the future.

P.S you've got a great pussy every men would love.


Add post (11-7-2018 11:16):
i had a much more longer comment initially, but due to restrains i had to cut them all out. would love to share more with you again.
Post time 11-7-2018 01:03:50 | Show all posts
I really love your self evaluation!!! That’s what I do when I am alone LOLI do have the same concern like you do.
As born in the traditional family, I am shy and lack of chances to discuss sex with my peers as well as my family but I have my sexual desire since I was very little...I masturbate myself to seek for my sexual pleasure.
Sadly I don’t have any chance to make love with men until I found this place.
I still feel my 1st time with my mentor is a very great sex that I’d never regret! He is caring and gentle at all.

For me, I think men and women here is open-minded to sex issue BUT most of them don’t really gender-consciousness. Most of them JUST want to have sex here but don’t eager to explore the variety of sex.
Sometimes, I love to ask the men about their views of sex and relationship, some of them still hold traditional thought towards sex and love. LOL

I want to have open relationship with my partner which he can enjoy sex with others even he is in relationship with me. I know it’s hard but it must be great if we can make such a dea HAHA! I don’t think love should bond with sex as love should be MORE than sex. SOUL is more important in the relationship. I think people link sex with love is becoz of kind of insecure? 佔有欲? (Can discuss when we meet)

In short, S&B does great effort for people to explore different kind of sex and help people like me to evaluate how SEX works and the true meanings of SEX as well as LOVE.

So many things go into my mind but I can’t write them down (poor organisation LOL)
Hope to share with u in person yeaaaaaa


Add post (11-7-2018 01:08):
Deal*
 Author| Post time 11-7-2018 12:28:08 | Show all posts
占面 replied at 11-7-2018 11:15
ok here it goes..

first of all rees, i'm glad we've met and had intimate actions with each other be ...

Hey you did not ask anything that offended me, coz I know where you were coming from. What bothers me is the mentality of some men who are only asking to fulfill their ''alpha-male'' fantasy. If people can learn something from talking to me, then fire away and ask me anything! Questions really make you think and know more about yourself.

I remember talking to someone and got asked about what do we do in the bedroom, I said ''vanilla sex'' meaning sex without any bdsm/ extreme elements, and he goes ''by definition, you can't have vanilla sex without a dick''
I know most guys here aren't like that, but a lot of them are out there with that type of closemindedness and think putting the D in the P is the ultimate goal. Unlike here where we enjoy all forms of sexual play, again I feel truly lucky to have found people that don't view penetrative sex as the ''real sex''

You are absolutely right. Sexuality makes up a part of who you are but does not define who you are. what's more important is you know what you are and are comfortable in your own skin. I really like the idea of exploring along the spectrum and see how things work out. And stop spoiling me with compliments! You'll spoil me! hahaha


Add post (11-7-2018 12:34):
And I would love to find out more about you too! Hope we can chat IRL soon! mwah
Post time 11-7-2018 15:01:46 | Show all posts
Rees replied at 11-7-2018 10:43
始終係好好既朋友, 會重視佢想法同想得到佢認同, 佢咁樣講完之後我同佢講左一堆野想解釋我究竟點樣諗既比 ...

首先, 我又點會嫌棄, 朋友之間, 尊重同埋支持對方, 吾係好合理咩?!
(一向都支持LGBT既, 仲記吾記得我提過十9 幾十年前已經聽"自己人"丫?!  其後有接觸過gay FD, 留意跨性別人仕既事...)


算啦, 你比D時間你Best fd消化下吧, 至少你講左你既唸法去令對方明, 但世事就係咁難預測...(sorry ah, 如果我咁講會再令你有hard feel); 不過可能特突然有一日佢反過來同你傾返, 話比你知佢知道係咩一回事呢...(可能就係比你點一點醒左!)

我都吾明, 點解D人會恐同... 又吾無法理解有咩忽係同道德有違...
(就當係未開發吧...)  你試望下D reply, support 你既 大有人在喔
Post time 13-7-2018 20:40:29 | Show all posts
之前望過下,但無即時回覆,漏左支持妳出呢篇文,一諗番起就要入黎表下態呢。

我好似無乜講過我對LGBT既睇法,
我既睇法就係無睇法,點解要有睇法?
咪都係人,
拉遠睇,外星人望我地,
咪又係一班鐘意睇手機同埋插插插既脊椎生物,無分別;
近睇,什麼叫小眾?我地玩Safe Sex party既男女,對比LGBT咪仲小眾,我感激妳無歧視我地加入我地呀!
另外,妳性取向無阻礙妳接受男性既接觸,又係另一份既包容和豁達,所以妳當初一出現,我唔駛見真人,就已經覺得妳好正!

另另外,我私下都同妳分享過我同妳都鐘意達明一派或黃耀明,咪就係一個有才華既歌手,

管他係什麼取向。

最後:
「知」係一切痛苦既根源;
「無知」係一切愚蠢行為既根源。

講完。
 Author| Post time 11-7-2018 10:40:49 | Show all posts
Ah矇 replied at 11-7-2018 10:03
被best friend 無理既指控,真係一D都吾好受 (我都試過, 簡直令我發飈...)

其實咁私人既野, 又無 ...

始終係好好既朋友, 會重視佢想法同想得到佢認同, 佢咁樣講完之後我同佢講左一堆野想解釋我究竟點樣諗既比佢聽
得到既回應只係''okay haha''
可能一下子太多對佢黎講好陌生既資訊, 要d時間process掛

自己人出聲的確多左, 令大家有機會認真認識下呢個topic, 但我發覺人係好難好難會改變佢價值觀''道德觀''
恐同既會繼續恐同, 支持既會繼續支持
反而關鍵既係接受能力高既下一代, 家庭環境真係好重要

多謝矇你唔厭棄睇哂佢, 其實呢堆問題都困擾左我好耐, 打左出黎仲要得到大家理解感覺真係好好
 Author| Post time 13-7-2018 10:36:14 | Show all posts
Haru replied at 13-7-2018 00:50
睇完之後,感覺開闊了眼界呢。因為無知,所以才會說出令你難堪的說話。而你能夠包容佢地,理解佢地,你的內 ...

所謂femininity都係一set 大家認為會o係女性上出現既野, 其他好多特質每個人都總會有, 偏偏當男人表現出佢(例如 好stereotype地) 柔弱, 愛打扮, 既一面, 就會比人話女人形, 甚至變態; 掉番轉, 女的就會被叫做TB, 男人婆
而人往往好容易因為對無知而所以衍生出恐懼, 繼而會做出傷害人地既事, 輕則透過眼神言語, 極端既如落後既法律制度, 甚至世界各地都出現恐同殺人事件
多謝你欣賞我呢, 將自己唔諗成小眾會突然覺得世界大左, 以前我會好介懷, 漸漸地就睇開了。謝謝你Haru
 Author| Post time 11-7-2018 10:31:47 | Show all posts
皮皮 replied at 11-7-2018 01:06
I really love your self evaluation!!! That’s what I do when I am alone LOLI do have the same concer ...

皮皮 I think I read you 半年感 for a couple of times before, I love reading a genuine self-eval too! I could resonate with some of your thoughts and you put them together so well
like discussing sex openly will get us slut-shaming, not having openminded friends etc

you know I did think about introducing my partner to S&B, but I didn't at the end...
There is a lot I wanna talk to you about too! Can't wait to share with you in person!!
Post time 10-7-2018 19:53:17 | Show all posts
I am sooooo proud for you Rees!! :-)
Not proud of the hurtful words from your friends but the progress you have made in finding your own “self”. This is what really matters :-) No other means are more useful than truely putting your wild thoughts into experiments - like we all do here!

Btw, I do think gender fluidity is beautiful. It’s so inborn to us and yet it can fluctuate over time... it actually opens up a lot of possibility in humanities, isnt it?

Appreciate your intimate sharing here. Love your queerness
Post time 11-7-2018 10:53:19 | Show all posts
皮皮 replied at 11-7-2018 01:06
I really love your self evaluation!!! That’s what I do when I am alone LOLI do have the same concer ...

peipei
you're probably the first female person I know who share that same thought about separating sex and love, and wishing our partner to have other sex partners while saving all the love for each other.
gives me a whole new idea about you!
seen you quite afew times at parties, still haven't get to talk to you. i think i found my ice breaker with you next time we meet
Post time 15-7-2018 18:17:00 | Show all posts
因為實在太多野做,所以Rees 妳出左咁耐,到現在先回覆。其實跨性別又好,LGBT又好,
都可以有自己嘅選擇。好似搵工咁,唔犯法咪得攞。

冇話某某人一定要去D乜。


就好似我地咁,誠實咁面對自己嘅需要,其實要好大勇氣,
就算在出面的世界,我亦唔介意LGBT 嘅朋友,我深信自由社會,
可以有自由選擇。


只是有人,用有色眼鏡去睇其他人,可能基於利益啦。
又或者係對其他人不理解,先至有恐懼嘅感覺,而盲目去反對。


 Author| Post time 11-7-2018 10:05:42 | Show all posts
Belle replied at 10-7-2018 19:56
I am sooooo proud for you Rees!! :-)
Not proud of the hurtful words from your friends but the progre ...

gender fluidity is truly beautiful, especially when you exude it with confidence! so attractive!
it opens up more opportunities not only in the bedroom, also in the real world and really changes how you see and feel things
thank you for reading it Belle, it did feel like a little therapy writing my thoughts out
Post time 13-7-2018 00:47:04 | Show all posts
睇完之後,感覺開闊了眼界呢。因為無知,所以才會說出令你難堪的說話。而你能夠包容佢地,理解佢地,你的內心真的很廣闊呢,就如你的眼界或你的性取向一般。
與其說自己是「小眾」,我寧願會說是「與別不同」。我會想接近你,大概就是因為你的獨特吧?
繼續堅持你的想法,繼續做你自己,就係你的魅力所在呢。
「每個人都有『女性』的一面」(唔知我有沒有理解錯你的說話),我好認同呢!
Post time 11-7-2018 10:00:14 | Show all posts
被best friend 無理既指控,真係一D都吾好受 (我都試過, 簡直令我發飈...)

其實咁私人既野, 又無影響其他人既, 真係關佢鬼事咩 (岩吾岩先?)  撐你嫁~

放眼世界, 日本既跨性別人仕亦能在藝能界能一番事業受到認同, 美國既RuPaul 可以大受歡迎;  雖然呢幾年多左人提出LGBT, 暫時自己人出聲多, 但希望將來都能夠有更被認同同埋接納

吾好唸太多啦, 你都無做錯, 搵到自己想要既, 做人開心就好了



Add post (11-7-2018 10:10):
其實你一出POST就睇曬了, 不過咁正經既話題, 我想好好地靜落黎慢慢回覆,
希望吾算太遲吧~ ^^
Post time 12-7-2018 08:21:26 | Show all posts
What can say...just being you is the most important thing to me. I was happy that you shared your thought with me on your first night. My fingering and mouth are better my dick. You don’t worry about what they said anyway. Afterward I learn a bit from you as a person in different aspects of life! Your smile is the most sweet thing to me happy & sexually attractive! Catch up with you sometimes!!
Post time 10-7-2018 22:47:15 | Show all posts
今朝咁岩睇完Brendon Urie 表態自己係pansexual既新聞,當晚就見到妳篇文章,真係好巧合lol。

其實我一直好認同人吸引人重點唔係性別同外貌,而係本身人與人相處之間所爆發既火花高低而定,
對方無論係咪異性、內外條件有幾優質都好,無火花的話根本無可能延伸到產生性衝動或愛戀感覺既地步,所以唔需要特別在意性向,大家互相吸引就得啦~~~

 Author| Post time 12-7-2018 18:06:54 | Show all posts
Ah矇 replied at 11-7-2018 15:04
首先, 我又點會嫌棄, 朋友之間, 尊重同埋支持對方, 吾係好合理咩?!
(一向都支持LGBT既, 仲記 ...

篇野又長又悶ma, 驚悶親人
我當然知你支持! 同你講過咁多呢方面既我當然知

唔緊要呀 我接受左佢唔係太接受啦, 過一排可能我又會屎忽痕問下佢有冇改變睇法, 希望唔會鬧交啦

大家支持我都收到, S&B的確好多好人(要緊要係理性, 有sense的)
 Author| Post time 11-7-2018 10:14:00 | Show all posts
hertz replied at 11-7-2018 00:21
Thanks for your long post, i don't have some wise words to share,

but i do enjoy to read your inti ...

OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED SUCH A GOLDEN CHANCE!!
i knew i was missing something IMPORTANT! damn it!
thank you for taking the time to read through it, i felt like I was showing my vulnerability a little through it but it felt right letting it out :)
 Author| Post time 12-7-2018 18:08:24 | Show all posts
Mustard replied at 12-7-2018 08:24
What can say...just being you is the most important thing to me. I was happy that you shared your th ...

Mustard! Actually I have to thank you for talking to me on such an interesting topic on my first night! It did help me think and understand a bit more about myself!
I have not yet tried your dick so i will the the judge of that!! hehee
Post time 11-7-2018 11:12:09 | Show all posts
Rees replied at 11-7-2018 10:43
始終係好好既朋友, 會重視佢想法同想得到佢認同, 佢咁樣講完之後我同佢講左一堆野想解釋我究竟點樣諗既比 ...

我試過比最好嘅朋友出賣,
身邊大部分朋友都疏遠我,
長達幾年,雖然之後都冇事,
我也放下了,不過與這個朋友嘅友誼大大減低了,
但無所謂,只要過得自己開心就夠。
Post time 13-7-2018 11:58:40 | Show all posts
Rees replied at 13-7-2018 10:39
所謂femininity都係一set 大家認為會o係女性上出現既野, 其他好多特質每個人都總會有, 偏偏當男人表現出 ...

正如Haru所講,妳有一種好獨特嘅魅力,
雖然未見過妳及接觸,但看過有關妳的動後,
也感覺妳與別不同,令我更加想去了解妳接觸妳,
希望能與妳擦出新嘅火花
 Author| Post time 11-7-2018 13:16:28 | Show all posts
多多 replied at 11-7-2018 11:30
Rees, 雖然跟妳接觸不多,但欣賞妳敢愛敢做,我信人為自己而活,不為他人,縱然世界大同跟我們有所分別,那 ...

好同意你所說的,我已學懂最尾其實要交代要接受既人都係自己一個,要因為世俗所限跟自己過唔去實在太傻了。多多,我也愛你!
Post time 11-7-2018 00:18:13 | Show all posts
Thanks for your long post, i don't have some wise words to share,

but i do enjoy to read your intimate share, juz like reading an excerpt of daily from a closed friend

wish to see u someday soon, that would be inspiring for both of us(or at least for me...)

PS, You should attach a Potato.jpg in the end.....
 Author| Post time 11-7-2018 10:11:13 | Show all posts
Uni replied at 10-7-2018 22:50
今朝咁岩睇完Brendon Urie 表態自己係pansexual既新聞,當晚就見到妳篇文章,真係好巧合lol。

其實我一直 ...

你講得好岩呀。 性別, 外貌, 種族, 要是一開始就因為呢d因素否定左一個人, 咁否定人既果個人實在太可悲, 佢既世界會變得好狹窄
Post time 11-7-2018 11:27:48 | Show all posts
Rees, 雖然跟妳接觸不多,但欣賞妳敢愛敢做,我信人為自己而活,不為他人,縱然世界大同跟我們有所分別,那又如何,道徳倫理都是人去規限,由人去打破也很合理。在愛裏面沒有對錯,真的只有愛與不愛,愛可以包容一切,容我説聲:愛妳
支持妳啊!
Post time 11-7-2018 10:48:08 | Show all posts
Thanks for sharing, that make me know you better.
Since joining S&B, I have been constantly discovering my own hidden sexual views. I agree with you. Regardless of gender, I will be attracted, most importantly, they must be as attractive to me as you are. I can't wait to see you
Post time 13-7-2018 23:38:33 | Show all posts
James replied at 13-7-2018 20:43
之前望過下,但無即時回覆,漏左支持妳出呢篇文,一諗番起就要入黎表下態呢。

我好似無乜講過我對LGBT既睇 ...

大老講得好好,係會度大家都是人人平等,無分彼此 ,我以前都係達明一派歌迷會會員,拆夥之後就無左個會
Post time 10-7-2018 18:23:00 | Show all posts
我的英文水平唔高,不過大約都明白妳講咩,我都一樣有女性朋友是.....我就覺得無問題,一樣可能打成一片一齊玩,
大家一起講女仔,其實都幾爽,每個人都有佢自己不同的生存方式,最重要是知道自己做緊咩開心就夠
 Author| Post time 11-7-2018 12:36:12 | Show all posts
GinA replied at 11-7-2018 10:51
Thanks for sharing, that make me know you better.
Since joining S&B, I have been constantly discover ...

Thank you for reading!! Gina I hope I can help you discover more of your hidden desires
 Author| Post time 11-7-2018 10:01:34 | Show all posts
vocal replied at 10-7-2018 18:26
我的英文水平唔高,不過大約都明白妳講咩,我都一樣有女性朋友是.....我就覺得無問題,一樣可能打 ...

對, 睇通左, 自己接受到就夠, 唔會太介意人地想法
Post time 10-7-2018 18:05:51 | Show all posts
Here to tell you i’m first and read it all.
An equally long winded comment shall follow later. Bear with me a while
12Next
Return to list New
You have to log in before you can reply Login | Register

Points Rules

手機版|Swing and Bang Club

1-12-2020 12:37 GMT+8 , Processed in 0.115402 second(s), 23 queries .

Powered by Discuz! X3 Licensed

© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.

Quick Reply To Top Return to the list